How Can You Learn To Love Yourself: A Simple, and Complete Guide

Discover how can you learn to love yourself through simple steps, self-care rituals, and deep emotional healing for lasting self-worth.

Soul Sisters Tarot

7/4/20259 min read

How can you learn to love yourself Soul Sisters Tarot
How can you learn to love yourself Soul Sisters Tarot

How Can You Learn To Love Yourself: An Easy, Simple, and Complete Guide

Learning how to love yourself isn’t just a fancy popular buzzword—it’s a lifelong journey that shapes how you relate to the world, your choices, and even your relationships. Whether you're searching for a learning to love yourself book, seeking a self-love workbook for women, or asking yourself, How can you learn to love yourself, this guide will walk you through everything you need to begin or deepen your journey.

🌸What Is Truly Behind the Word of Self-Love?

Self-love isn’t about being self-centered or narcissistic. It’s a deep commitment, a lifelong journey, to treating yourself with the same compassion, care, and respect that you so generously offer others. That means the way we treat ourselves directly affects how we show up for the world.

True self-love involves several key emotional pillars:

Self-Compassion - you are as valuable as others

Self-compassion is all about being kind and nice to yourself in moments of hardship, struggle, and overwhelming emotions. It’s knowing you are worthy of love, even when you fail or fall short. Be your best friend, if you try it, it’s actually pretty cool, and it truly gives you back the trust in yourself, and even security.

Self-Forgiveness - you are doing it for you

You can't truly love yourself if you’re stuck in shame, guilt, or mistakes you made in the past. Forgiveness allows you to let go of all that and embrace growth, beauty in you, and the answers you get from your inner self.

Self-Trust - use your intuition, your gut feeling, your own voice

Loving yourself means trusting your own voice. When you trust your decisions, you're no longer dependent on external validation.

Self-Care - not just self-love activities

Not a luxury—but a necessity. Self-care includes everything from sleep to saying “no” to toxic dynamics.

😢Why Don’t I Know How to Love Myself?

Maybe you were never taught. Maybe you learned to tie your worth to achievement, approval, or appearance. Or maybe, like many, you internalized messages that made you believe you were “too much” or “not enough.” The good news? Learning how to love yourself is possible, no matter where you start.

💪How Can You Learn to Love Yourself?

First, you begin where you are. There’s no need to “fix” or “repair” yourself to be worthy of love, compassion, and kindness; you already are worthy of them. You just need to meet yourself with honesty, patience, and practice. Asking how do you love yourself is the first brave step. What comes next is consistent, compassionate action.

🧠How to Learn to Love Yourself: Some very easy and practical ways - 11 steps

Let’s break it down into clear, doable steps:

1. Embrace Mindfulness

Start noticing your inner voice. Is it critical or compassionate? Awareness is the first step to change, because when you acknowledge how you speak to yourself, that is where the change can come in, if you let it.

2. Acknowledge Where You Struggle Most

Do you feel unworthy in relationships? At work? In your body? Targeting these areas helps guide your growth. It’s not that you need to fix something about you; it’s about getting to know what parts you don’t love so much and why. Then you can start to heal those parts.

3. Calm Your Nervous System

Self-love starts in the body. Try breathwork, grounding, or gentle movement to feel safe and present.

4. Befriend Your Inner Child Parts

Take a step back, lie down on the bed, close your eyes, and visualize your younger self. In this visualization, show love and care for the younger you who needed more love. You can also try writing a letter to your younger self, where you acknowledge the pain she was in and be encouraging and supportive. This powerful reparenting practice helps rebuild self-worth.

5. Shift From Judgment to Curiosity

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “What do I need right now?”

6. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Use phrases like, “This is hard, but I’m doing my best.” It rewires your inner dialogue.

7. Celebrate your small wins - there’s a whole science behind it

Celebrate your growth. Dopamine from small wins encourages long-term change.

8. Embrace Self-Acceptance

You don’t need to be perfect to be lovable; nobody is perfect, but we all are lovable. Love starts with accepting yourself, flaws and all.

9. Be your own best friend, cheerleader, and hero

It’s time to give yourself the love, kindness, care, and appreciation you have always needed from others. Write it. Speak it. Mirror it. Be the source of your own emotional support.

10. Prioritize Self-Care

Sleep, boundaries, rest, nourishment—these are not selfish. They’re sacred.

11. Keep showing up for yourself - it’s more important than you might think

The path to self-love is not linear. Keep choosing yourself as much as possible, not only, but especially on the hard days.

🌀The real big question: How can you learn to love yourself, and keep loving yourself?

This question is more than a search term—it’s a portal to personal transformation. When you love yourself, you:

  • Make healthier choices

  • Form stronger relationships

  • Set clearer boundaries

  • Create a life aligned with your values.

💜So, How Do You Love Yourself, Truly?

Truly loving yourself isn’t about reaching a perfect version of who you think you should be. It’s about honoring the version of you that exists right now. It means choosing to stay kind to yourself even when you’re struggling, scared, or imperfect. Loving yourself is less about how you feel all the time and more about how you treat yourself, especially when things get tough.

You love yourself truly when you:

  • Hold space for your emotions without shame.
    Instead of pushing your feelings away, you get curious. You ask yourself, “What do I need right now, or why am I feeling like this; what would support me right now?” rather than “What’s wrong with me?”

  • Forgive yourself for your past.
    You stop punishing yourself for things you didn’t know or understand at the time. You learn to say, “I was doing the best I could with what I knew then.”

  • Speak to yourself with compassion.
    You trade self-judgment for gentle inner dialogue. You talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you truly care about, like your friend or a family member. Just picture how you would talk to them, or what you would say to them, and then try doing it.

  • Set boundaries that protect your energy.
    You realize that self-love sometimes looks like saying no—even to people you love—so that you can say yes to your peace.

  • Allow yourself to take up space.
    You stop shrinking to make others comfortable. You remind yourself that your needs, voice, and desires matter too.

Truly loving yourself is a practice, not a finish line. It’s something you recommit to each day, especially on the days when self-love feels furthest away. It’s not always soft and gentle, either. Sometimes it looks like making the hard decision, walking away from what’s not serving you, or standing in your truth.

So if you’re asking yourself how to love yourself truly, it’s not something that comes overnight; it takes time and action, so start small. Show up for yourself. Stay consistent. Be patient. Let it be messy and real. Because true self-love doesn’t require perfection—it requires presence.

📖Self-Love Bucket List – A Great Way to Start Doing More Self-Love Activities

Creating a self-love bucket list can help you stay intentional. Here are a few ideas to get you started, and maybe even a little bit excited to start your self-love journey:

  • Solo movie night

  • Try a new hobby with no pressure to be good.

  • Take a digital detox day.

  • Say “no” without explaining.

  • Treat yourself like you would a beloved friend.

If you feel like you need more self-love activities, use a premade Self-Love Bucket list.

🔍Looking for More Support on Your Self-Love Journey?

There are amazing resources out there, including:

  • Learning to Love Yourself book – Books by authors like Louise Hay, Brené Brown, and Kristin Neff are life-changing.

  • Self-love workbook for women – These guided journals help you explore beliefs, habits, and healing practices.

  • Self-love activities – Find all kinds of rituals, activities, and new things that nourish your spirit and body, and are actually something that you want to do for yourself.

Learning to Love Yourself: Self-Love Workbook for Women

One of the best tools available is a structured workbook. A great self-love workbook for women can offer:

  • Prompts for self-reflection

  • Daily affirmations

  • Ways to connect with your inner self

  • Boundary-setting guides

  • Confidence-building exercises

  • Meditation exercises to boost confidence and gain back your peace

🔮Spiritual and Magical Ways When It Comes to Learning How to Love Yourself

For those drawn to the mystical side, here are some spiritual approaches:

Crystals for Self-Love

Crystals aren’t just pretty stones—they can act as gentle companions on your self-love journey. Each crystal holds a unique energetic frequency that supports healing, emotional balance, and inner peace. If you’re new to using crystals, here’s how to start:

Which crystals help with self-love?
Some of the best self-love crystals include:

  • Rose Quartz – The ultimate heart-healing stone; it nurtures compassion and unconditional love for yourself.

  • Rhodonite – A great crystal that helps with emotional healing and even helps with forgiving yourself.

  • Amethyst – A soothing crystal that promotes inner peace and self-worth.

  • Carnelian – Boosts confidence and helps you reconnect with your inner fire and creativity.

  • Green Aventurine – Supports emotional renewal and self-growth.

How to use them:

  • Carry them with you – Keep one in your pocket or wear it as jewelry to stay connected to its energy.

  • Meditate with them – Hold a crystal over your heart while repeating affirmations like “I am worthy of love.”

  • Create a self-love altar – Arrange your crystals with candles, journal, or other meaningful objects to create a sacred space.

  • Add them to your bath – Place (non-toxic) tumbled stones like rose quartz or amethyst near your bath to create a loving, calming soak.

  • Sleep with them under your pillow – Let their energy gently support your dreams and subconscious healing.

These rituals seem small, but they do help to bring more mindfulness, intuition, and manifestation into your day. But be mindful that crystals, stones, and other manifestation items won’t “fix” or “repair” you—but they can gently remind you that you’re already whole, and they help you do things with more intention - and this is what makes a difference.

Tarot Guidance

Tarot can be a powerful tool, maybe even a mirror when you’re learning to love yourself, because it gives you answers, guidance, and lets you know where to go next in your self-love journey. Tarot is not about predicting the future—it’s about revealing the truth that already lives within you. When you feel lost, stuck, or unsure how to start your self-love journey, a tarot reading can offer clarity, validation, and gentle nudges in the right direction.

If you’ve never used tarot before, don’t worry—you don’t need to be “spiritual” or psychic. Start with a simple deck (the Rider-Waite is a classic choice, but it may be hard to understand at first, so maybe use even simpler decks and tarot books to learn the meanings of the cards first) and ask reflective questions like:

  • “What’s blocking me from loving myself fully?”

  • “How can I connect with my inner child so she would feel loved, safe, heard, and seen?”

  • “How can I begin healing my relationship with myself?”

  • “What part of me needs more compassion right now?”

You can also receive a professional tarot reading (in person or online) from an intuitive reader who specializes in emotional or spiritual healing. A good reader can help you see your patterns, wounds, and potential with new eyes, especially if you feel overwhelmed or disconnected from yourself.

Whether you pull a single card each morning or book a deeper session, tarot can be a beautiful ritual to come home to yourself and ask: What do I need to hear today?

Spiritual Life Coach

Sometimes, loving yourself means having someone lovingly guide you back to yourself. That’s where a Spiritual Life Coach comes in, and they can make a big difference, because the road to loving yourself is not easy. Unlike traditional coaching that focuses only on goals and productivity, spiritual coaching dives deeper into your beliefs, thinking, and behavioral patterns, wounds, and your relationship with your inner and higher self.

A spiritual life coach can help you:

  • Heal from inner criticism and perfectionism.

  • Reconnect with your intuition and inner wisdom.

  • Identify limiting beliefs that block self-love.

  • Set soulful intentions rooted in compassion, not pressure.

  • Explore spiritual tools like journaling, energy healing, breathwork, or inner child work.

If you’re unsure where to start with self-love or feel disconnected from yourself, working with a coach can provide insight, accountability, and emotional safety. They’re not there to “fix” you, but to help you remember that you were never broken.

Look for a coach who aligns with your values—whether they’re trauma-informed, intuitive, or grounded in mindfulness or energy work. A good coach will hold space for your transformation while empowering you to love yourself just as you are.

🌿Self-Love Activities for Summer

Need a seasonal spark? Try these self-love activities designed for sunshine and joy:

🌞 Sunset Stroll – Reflect on something you love about yourself during an evening walk.
📖
Journal Joys – List 5 things you appreciate about yourself today.
💧
Hydration Ritual – Infuse water with herbs or fruit and toast to your wellbeing.
🌼
Nature Break – Go tech-free and sit in nature for 15 minutes.
🧴
Skincare Treat – Try a summer face mask or aloe treatment.
🎶
Feel-Good Playlist – Blast songs that make you feel powerful.
📷
Selfie with Love – Take a photo and say something kind to yourself.
🍓
Fresh Snack Moment – Mindfully enjoy a bright, healthy snack.
Gratitude Glitter – Write one thing you’re proud of each night.
💌
Love Letter to Yourself – Write encouragement to your future self.
🧘‍♀️
Morning Stretch – Begin the day with 5 minutes of mindful movement.
🖌️
Creative Pause – Paint or draw just for joy.
💃
Solo Dance Party – Dance like nobody’s watching.
🌙
Tech-Free Wind Down – Unplug before bed and enjoy candlelight or quiet.
📅
Plan a “Me Date” – Take yourself out somewhere new.
🕶️
"Main Character" Morning – Dress boldly, grab coffee, and walk with confidence.
📞
Voice Note Love Bomb – Hype yourself up in a voice memo.
🥒
Pickle Spa Day – Make a quirky snack and lounge like royalty.
🎤
Shower Concert Challenge – Sing your power anthem loud and proud.
🔮
Future You Tarot Night – Ask: What magic am I growing this month?

🫶Our wishes to you

How do you love yourself? You do it by starting. By caring. By trying. Whether through crystals for self-love, dancing alone, journaling, or working through a self-love workbook for women, the key is to show up for yourself, over and over again.

You are worthy of love, especially your own.

With love,
Caitlin & Gerly,
Soul Sisters Tarot